Monkey ‘Prophet’ Chooses Trump as Next US President

By Emmanuel Offor

Days after United States President Barack Obama described a victory for Republican candidate Donald Trump in the forthcoming presidential election as a threat to the world; a ‘prophet’ has all but confirmed that existential threat! The said prophet is a Chinese monkey known simply as Geda.

In the latest twist to the gripping presidential race that’s even more bizarre than Trump’s many shenanigans, the monkey, also referred to as “king of prophets” after it successfully predicted the winner of the Euro 2016 final earlier this year, picked the rambunctious billionaire for the coveted office.

The simian seer, whose name Geda means ‘knots’ or ‘goose bumps’ was given a chance to pick between life-sized cut-outs of Trump and his Democratic challenger Hillary Clinton, Shiyanhu Ecological Tourism Park wrote on its website.

Monkey ‘Prophet’ Chooses Trump as Next US President

After a moment of “deep thought”, the mystic monkey picked Trump, and with the assurance of an Old Testament prophet, he congratulated the cardboard candidate with a kiss on the lips.

So when Trump makes positive references to conservation in his stump speech, you know where he’s coming from.

For those not given to superstition, Geda is to be taken seriously. Two days before the European championship final, the five-year-old monkey correctly predicted Portugal would win by electing to eat banana from their national flag instead of that of their opponents, France. Cristiano Ronaldo and co eventually ran out 1-0 winners against the odds in Paris.

The prophetic primate follows in the mythical steps of Paul the Octopus who stunned the world with accurate predictions, including Spain’s final victory, at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

But given that monkeys are infamous for skulduggery, there just may be ‘hope’ for the world. Lol…


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